I Put the YO in YO-Ville

I've been wanting to take a deeper look into this particular game for a while and right off the bat, this is not a game at least not in a gamer's sense Yoville is more of a giant chatroom. So if your looking for something thats going to satisfy your E-Bloodlust this is not the game for you; However if your looking for an ok way to kill time and bullshit with other people who are at work
this might end up being your ticket out of your cubicle / office that your mind needs to get through the day. Now that we got that out of the way, let's see what YoVille is about



Yoville in its basic form is a mmorpg except you don't fight anything and you kind of just stand around and find things to do......similar to second life (review coming of that shortly) My girlfriend introduced me Yoville on myspace, I played with her for a little while, and just could not get into it, She's a damn pro though. I would play sporadically on facebook but mostly when she was on, and I'd checkout her super sweet crib. When you start out in yoville you live serial killer style with no plush amenities, no wonder I would always spend more time at her house then mines

My character's name Is The Funk Doc, his one goal in life to bring funk to the citizens of YO-Ville, He's wearing a barrel and a pair of cowboy boots, lets hit the town and see whats happening, you guys ready? Of course you’re ready! So I leave my room and immediately I'm brought to a lobby of some sort .Since I have a few friends , you can choose to visit their apartments from here. Usually there are a few of them standing idle like zombies, nothing to exciting here. Lets get out and be seen baby! So I'm out on the mean streets of yoville armed with a seemingly endless supply of water balloons a smile and spurs I set off!

Destination, ADVENTURE!!!!!!!

The streets are completely empty.....a little to empty for yoville....I walk into the gym
And behind the counter is a typical 'bro' shaved head, tank top, and tats. I inquire about what I should get for my house he suggests the basic gym, I think it over for a few seconds and chose to buy it. I figure if you’re going to be wearing nothing, but a barrel you'd better be in damn good shape for all the running you may end up doing.

I leave the gym 30 coins poorer but with a sense of I'll totally kick your ass if you talk about my barrel shirt or my lady, feeling good I take a stroll on down to the casino. I'm young, naked, and on the town why not spend some cash and see whether I am as lucky as I feel. If you try walking into a real casino with only a barrel on you'd better be famous or you’re in for the ass kicking of a lifetime (if you happen to be Jim and Roy is working the door) So I play the penny machine and lose big time...well not big time; I just have no idea how to make money yet and somehow I don't think you can be a stripper or a cop (Thanks a lot high school guidance counselor you were way off dude) I don't stay very long because there's not much to do unless you like to lose money. I guess by looking at my character you would probably guess he doesn't actually care about money or the woes of society, just give a barrel that fits and boots that jingle when he walks and he is A-ok :)

So the doc's funk meter is running low from all that strutting around town like God's greatest gift to the funk minded yo-villiean; The Funk Doctor heads to Vinny's to grab a bite to eat and to also check out the decorum. I walk through the doors and who do I see behind the register? Bro from the gym store.......the economy must be horrible if he's working two jobs at the same time. I order a salad. The Funk Dr is a vegetarian unlike your sexy narrator. The conversation is severely lacking, The Dr devours the salad, it's almost like he hasn't eaten for weeks (off the record more like a month since I didn't know you had to feed them)

Now with his hunger fed the Dr searches for what every good dr searches for people that need him more than he needs them. Uh oh the funky one's ears have heard something he likes....The heart thumping bass music! He dances his barreled covered ass right pass the bouncer and right into the strobe lighted heaven. The club is a bust and the only good drug they have is coffee also you’re never going to believe who works at the club, Bro from the gym, and diner, figured he would give me a discount but apparently in the land of YO is coins, ass or coffee


To Be Continued/ CONTINUED SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

After a full fifteen minutes of clubbing, I figure it is time to start searching for a job.
Instead of saying hello it's customary to launch a water balloon at whomever you are trying to communicate with, I guess many people were trying to talk to the funk doc since he was pelted with about thirty in the span of sixty seconds. After another hundred or so I'm told by the person I like the most in the world, that there is a ton of ways to make bank on yoville and if I had listened to her I would know that.

Well before I decided to review it Yoville did not seem like much a big deal but after doing a little research in the usual places I found that there are just as many ways to cheat and make money/ earn yo points as there are to do it legitimately. Since I want this to be an honest review I won't be using any of them although I have confirmed that they do exist, and it makes the game way more interesting but it also disrupts the balance of the game which ruins the experience for everyone,

I make it to the sweets factory, nobody is outside so I go in and a few oven's are on
Since it was my first time in the factory, I went through a brief tutorial and then that's when things stopped being delicious and started getting tasty! The premise is simple, you bake stuff you get money sound simple enough right? Well just like in real life if your not paying attention to the oven your food burns (or fries HEY OH!) I end up making a decent amount of money but it is super boring, I'm guessing that if you have people in there with you also baking its probably a little more fun, if not engaging. It's around this time that I seriously have to focus on actually stick with the game as the clock ticks it starts to bore me more , there is no real action to speak off unless decide to get into an E-Peen (she's really rubbing off on me) and get into a pointless but potentially really funny flame war, the net is for slandering others anonymously facebook somewhat takes the fun out of that :)

This is a game that requires some serious patience to enjoy, and I have the patience of a saint when it comes to most things and I've definitely tackled a few dozen dungeon crawlers so I think in the end this is not my type of game. I could not help but think I had played the same game before, but better and it turns out I have it's called the sims. The only difference is you cannot play the sims online, and they talk their own crazy language. So I guess this is the part when I rate the game

Replayability: This is entirely subjective depending on the type of gamer you are
I give this game a two for the sheer fact I barely play it

Presentation: This is where this game shines, it is 2D but it doesn't try to be something it's not and that ends up working very well for YO-ville. One thing that did bother me about it is when you create a yoville character. Your options are very limited. The selection of accessories is nothing great either, but you can't argue with the price of the game FAAAAAAAAAAAA-REEEEEEEEEEEE

Music: It loops, it loops. It loops 1/10


So my score for yoville is a 3/10

Final thoughts

NONE,ZERO :)