Rather Unique (Throw Back entry)

This was an entry from a while ago that never made it


I'm Rather Unique

But attending hampshire I'm feeling less and less, to know is not enough is the motto; but it’s seemingly not the practice at least that’s how it seems to me. When I wake up and I don't give a damn about the day or the work, I'm the one that has to deal. The division one requirements are a joke, I'm going to lay it down flat, I despise the process and it's probably the number one reason the retention rates are so low. Nothing like having to jump through hoops to get a person thinking about what the hell one is doing with their time and money


Rather Unique

I despise having to explain myself and the way I think to folks who just don't get it; listen the way you've been teaching isn't the way I've been learning there is no disconnect. I'm to specifically specific to walk a path not my own; that's just the way it is, nothing personal.

Rather uniquely I exist

When I think of myself and how I fit in at Hampshire,
I always come to the same conclusion; I manage to both fit in and remain an outsider simultaneously. Is it a space unique to myself? I don’t think so, but I am unique to the space.


Rather Unique


When I think about how I learn, I think about wild animals being free to do their thing. I guess that's a funny way to think about it, but animals are at their best when we let them do what nature made them to do, and I think I am the same way. When wild animals are domesticated some of them accept it quickly as a way of life; But then there are others who resent their captivity and are never fully domesticated: I have felt like this everyday I have woken up on this campus. I am sure the animals that are born in captivity don't miss the outside, but every once in a while their genetics will make them remember what they their minds have forgotten. A lion will always be a lion no matter where that lion happens to be, and I feel the same way here.

So I'm bored lets see what I can come up with

So I have my film Noir playlist blasting and lets get it on

I woke up this morning with the foul taste of the night before on the tip of my tongue.
Her name escapes me, but the memory of her lingers in an out of my mind.
The sweat trickles down my face as I sit up and say hello to the streets.
Rain hits the window as I pull back the curtains to get a better view.

I try to remember her name as I stare out at the world; a knock on the door breaks my concentration. The clock tells me all I need to know about the person on the other side of the door. Under the bed is where I keep my agony, it seems only right since that’s where I keep my monsters as well. Fingers crawl underneath the right side until they meet a familiar friend. I remember the way she moved through the crowd, like a feather in the wind. The knocks become angrier, but they do nothing to quicken my step, time waits for no man but whoever is on the other side of that door will wait for me.

I count four more knocks each quicker then the last and finally a thud as I finally reach the door, when you’ve seen as many sunsets as I have you know that a few minutes usually don’t make a damn bit of difference because if it’s important, it’ll find a way to happen.




The Night Before


Lights to bright shine through blinds that see too much, I’d rather have a window that faced a brick wall or at least one across the way from a pretty dame with a killer smile.
The Phone rings as the neon lights from the dive next door and the streetlight play tag.
This is my life I think to myself as I pick up the receiver “This is my life” I say aloud to no one in particular as I place the receiver back down, I let my hand rest on the top of it.

Defining Moments

So the next couple of posts are from journals i kept from my time abroad


I heard once that life is just one moment after another, now that I’m half a century old I’m starting to think about what exactly that means and more importantly what it means to me. I’ve had a few defining moments through the years the biggest moment was the one when I knew for sure that things would never be the same and that they would never be like they were; How are you supposed to respond in a moment when you know that childhood is fleeting and adulthood is pressing.

What is in a moment? I still find myself asking that question and the only thing that I can come up with is that a moment can only be truly defined by the person or people in it. So what will my defining moment be? I’ve had many but none that define me and that’s because I refuse to be definable by any moment. I suppose I just contradicted myself since I have been talking about moments and how they affect my life. I think I am going to need to have a few more moments before I can tackle this again